Por Charlestien Harris, asesor financiero jubilado de Southern Bancorp
So, you’ve decided to tie the knot – congratulations! Weddings are exciting, and they require a lot of attention to detail in many areas, such as food, participants, venue, and attire. However, there is another important area to add to your “attention-to” list: having that often elusive conversation about money.
Becoming a couple can be seamless in many ways, but combining your finances can be challenging if you do not plan ahead before and after the ceremony. There are important steps to take both before and after you say “I do.” Here are some suggestions to help you begin that sometimes difficult – but essential – conversation about how you, as a couple, will manage your money.
Before you tie the knot, you should:
- Have the “Money Talk.”
Money conversations can be difficult for couples, but discussing finances before marriage can make combining your financial lives smoother. This conversation should include topics such as income, assets, debts, and credit scores, allowing you to align on financial habits and goals.
- Know your money story and share it.
A money story explains how you think about money, what it means to you, and how it influences your financial decisions. Sharing your money story can make financial conversations feel less defensive and more informative. It also helps strengthen communication with your future spouse.
- Set financial goals together.
A key part of money management is setting realistic financial goals. Each of you should create a list of goals and then come together to discuss them. A wedding fund should be at the top of the list so you both clearly understand expectations for contributing to the big day. You should also discuss long-term goals, such as buying a home or planning for retirement, and begin building a three- to six-month emergency fund.
- Establish a “wedding fund.”
One way to do this is by using an auto-save method to set aside money each month for wedding expenses. Creating a realistic budget will help guide this process. Determine total wedding costs and identify which expenses will be shared, split, or covered by savings. Knowing the costs upfront will help you prepare for unexpected expenses.
After you tie the knot, you should:
- Begin implementing your financial plans.
Sit down together to establish a shared budget, build a joint emergency fund (three to six months of expenses), and schedule regular “money dates” to stay aligned on financial goals and debt management. These practices will help you start your financial journey on the right foot. Also, decide on your account structure: whether to merge completely, keep accounts separate, or use a “yours, mine, and ours” approach.
- Don’t forget to update documents.
If a name change occurs, be sure to update beneficiaries on insurance policies, bank accounts, and retirement plans. Having both names on important documents can be especially helpful if one partner becomes incapacitated or unable to manage financial matters.
- Tackle debt together.
Bringing debt into a marriage can create stress over time. In fact, the higher a couple’s debt burden, the more likely financial disagreements may arise. However, debt can also be an opportunity to work together as a team and strengthen your relationship. Avoid the blame game, and focus on developing a plan to eliminate debt by:
- Not referring to it as “your” debt – language matters and shapes perspective.
- Avoiding holding past debt over each other’s heads – or your own.
- Staying committed to the plan and motivating one another.
If you address the issue, understand what you’re facing, and develop a clear plan, you can build a marriage that moves toward debt-free goals. If you find yourself struggling, don’t hesitate to seek help.
Whether you have the “money conversation” before or after you tie the knot, it is a critical discussion that should not be overlooked. Deciding how to manage your finances together is a major decision and deserves thoughtful planning. A smooth transition from single to married money management is absolutely achievable.
Si desea más información sobre este y otros temas financieros, puede enviarme un correo electrónico a [email protected] o escribir a Apartado de correos 1825, Clarksdale, MS 38614.
Hasta la semana que viene: ¡manténgase en forma desde el punto de vista financiero!
